Reflections

This morning I read Psalm 51 in my quiet time.  It reminded me of something I had written in college after a long, tiring and frustrating day, when I had gone to pray and observed a beautiful sunset.  i was inspired to write what I prayed...though this doesn't really do justice to my prayer that evening.

My Painting

You're painting a picture LORD, and I'm in it.  You change it everyday and I know you'll only make it your way.

     Your painting a picture LORd, in which you've place your hand over my head, but that dark cloud of temptation hovers in front of my face.  LORD you're painting my life, but when I look at it I don't see what I want to see.  I am horrified because I know you're painting it true, and I know you will not lie. 

     You change this painting everyday and make it new to show me who I really am.  Sometimes the cloud of temptation is very near to my nose, but most of the time its shadow is on my face.  when I sin by giving in to temptation the picture you're painting is changed again.  My face is shadowed with such a deep black that even though I cannot make out any features I know it is me.  I have no desire to see this painting, but yet I do.  Your painting shows me areas in my life that I need to better to be more like my Savior.  I want to see a wonderful, gloriously, bright painting that does not show the bad.

     You always paint you hand over my head, and I know you are protecting me.  I like the days when your painting shows temptation spiraling down towards my feet and that cloud becomes gray and hard to see.  I know I've lived for you when that cloud of temptation shrinks under my feet and my face shines bright from a reflection of your glory.

     I desire your daily picture of me to be perfect in every way, yet there is always a flaw somewhere in my life.  When I look back over each day I cringe inside when I see what you've painted about me.  It is bad with little good shown, always gray, dark, and light; although, sometimes the picture is bright and colorful revealing my love for you, because you helped me to send temptation away.

     Oh LORD, how I look forward to the day when your painting of me will be perfect in every way.

     Thank you LORD for showing me in your word how to be a better person.  Guide me each day and help me to choose to walk in your way.  Thanks for your promises of always being here for me and caring for me in your special way.  Please help me to know and understand your Word and apply it to my life.  You've loved me and I've put you on "hold" while I went my own way.  I'm sorry, I really want to serve you and there is no excuse of my neglect of you.  Help me to keep my attitude one of serving you and bringing you the glory and honor that you deserve.  Help me to be like Jesus as Paul describes in Philippians 2:1-11.  Thank you for the encouragement you give me in the Bible.  Help me make my life pleasing to you.  Your everlasting mercy and grace are more than I am worthy of, but yet you continue to pour them into my life.  I love you and thank you for all you give to me.

Suanna Peterson, March 1999