Are Your Children a Burden or a Blessing?

Earlier this year I had a short conversation with a seasoned mom who mentioned that her now grown children told her they felt like they were a burden to their mom while they were growing up.  She said she never meant to make them feel like that and admitted that she was very busy with normal life, a child with special needs, and getting a home business off the ground.  She said she probably had too much on her plate.

As I’ve pondered her words, I’ve prayed that I haven’t made my children feel like they are a burden in my life.  If I have made them feel that way I hope that when they are grown they will not remember, unless they also remember that I love them and I worked hard to make them feel like they belong to our family.

What can I do to make sure that my children don’t think they are a burden?

Note:  I started writing this post a few months ago and had plans to add scripture to help remind us that the children God has given us are a blessing from him.  If God gives a blessing, who am I to undermine him by making my children feel like they aren’t a blessing.  Since I've been busy and haven't I wanted to post these thoughts anyway.

My prayer for those of you who read this post is to ponder the idea of how you look at your own children or other family members.  Do you treat them like they are a burden or do you strive to enjoy them, no matter how busy you think you are?

March Break

This week we've had our break from school.  The kids have been enjoying the lovely weather and just having time to play and pursue their own interests.  I had a list of things I wanted to work on this week, too, but so far only 1 of the items has been cross off the list.  That item was cook bacon.  Two other items have been partially completed.

Since it can be discouraging to not get the things done I wanted to do I started making a list of all the things that I did do.  It helps a little to see the things I've done with my children on their week off of school and to know that I'm just being a mom and doing what God created me to do.  Taking the week off of school means I don't have to teach, but my children still need me and my wishes aren't necessarily something that gets to take first place.  Putting aside my selfish desires is hard.

Here's the list of just a few of the things I've done this week:
-went to the library
-went to the playground
-baked cookies with a few of my children
-helped paint shape and race cars (3 days)
-built Lego's with Quinn and Clark
-cleaned part of my desk
-took care of some of the mail pile (4 days)
-read stories to littles
-ate chocolate
-enjoyed dandelions
-stayed up late playing peek-a-boo with the twins, because baby laughter is so much fun
-walked to the end of the street and back (4 days)
-played outside x2
-listened to Clark and Quinn signing songs while they were coloring
-made hot chocolate
-got school plans ready for preschool and kindergarten next week
-worked a Sudoku or two every morning while drinking my coffee
-watched a movie with the kids


I'm not ready to start back to school on Monday, but I still have the weekend to hopefully finish getting school plans ready.

Sometimes...

I just want to curl up in a corner and cry rather than muddle through whatever we are supposed to be doing.  Instead I pray, let the babies scream, wash the dishes, and clean the kids closets (they are helping), while wishing I was brave enough to take eight kids to the grocery store.  We are really supposed to be working on school, but I wasn't prepared so they are having life lessons instead.  Maybe I'll be ready to start school tomorrow.

Merry Christmas -2015

I wrote this letter last week hoping that I would get Christmas cards mailed.  I didn't so I thought I'd post it here.

December 18, 2015

Merry Christmas,

God has blessed our family much over the last year.  Last Christmas we were excited about adding to our family in the Summer of 2015.  In February, we found out that we were going to have two new family member and not just the one.  We walked on clouds for the next couple of weeks.  We bumped our late spring trip to visit family on the east coast up to March, while it would still be safe for Suanna to travel.  In May, we took a family field trip to the Legoland Discovery Center in Grapevine, Texas.  We knew that this would probably be our last time to galavant around as a family for a while.  At the end of June, Suanna’s parents arrived before the babies did and we enjoyed having them join us and see how our family works.  On July 7th, Colt and Kade were born and I sit here now with Kade watching me and laughing while Colt naps in the other room.  It’s been an adjustment to having two babies.  We still sometimes just stop and look at them and are amazed at God’s blessing on our family and comment, “There’s two of them,” or “There’s another one!”  These were two of the comments Quinn (2) has given us.  Since July the months have seemed to fly by.  We spent Thanksgiving at Jeff’s parents home.  We still have some “sleepless” nights, but God is good and when we aren’t sure how much more we can go on very little sleep, He gives the babies a few extra hours of sleep allowing some much needed rest for us as well.  We are continuing to homeschool and have worked to keep a lighter schedule this year.  Kent is in 6th grade, Katy is in 5th grade, Kaomi is in 3rd grade and Clark and Felicity are eagerly anticipating starting their kindergarten program next month.  We are looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us this next year.

                            Love,
                        Jeff and Suanna &
            Kent, Katy, Kaomi, Felicity, Clark, Quinn, Colt, and Kade

2-27 Real Snow

We finally got some real snow!  It was too powdery to do much with, but the kids had lots of fun playing in it.  Isaiah even walked over to come and play with the kids and Jeff came home from work a little early so he could play in it too.  We were only supposed to get 1-2", but I was praying that we would get more than 4 inches, because it is more fun.  We had somewhere around 5 inches or a little more. 

Then this morning they went out as it was starting to freezing drizzle and they built a snow man.  Everyone was having so much fun this morning that Clark and Quinn were out for more than an hour.  Jeff came in shortly after they did after having a snowball fight with several kids who were out playing from the neighborhood and Kent, Katy and Felicity were out for almost 3 hours.

February 28, 2015

After School

The Slow Pace

We've been taking it easy since school got out.  The week that we finished school I ended up sick.  So we I took about 10 days of just doing the necessities of the day.  Now, we've been doing our regular chores, playing, reading books, snuggling with little kids, keeping up with Clark and Quinn or watching a little TV.  We're doing the summer reading program through our library, so we go to the library at least once a week.  I've also been trying to tackle one other cleaning area each day that is either in desperate need of my attention or is something that doesn't get done often during the school year.  Staying home, checking my garden and not running around to different activities has been refreshing.  I like the slow pace.

School's Out

We are done with school for the year.  Everyone passed their work and gets to move on to the next level.  Silly Katy told us after only one day of no school that she was bored without school and wanted someone to print some math worksheets for her.  I made a deal with the older kids.  If they do a good job on their responsibilities and chores they will have more time to play.  If they do a bad job, waste too much time, or complain too much they will get to work for me.  If they owe me work it gets completed at 9:00 in the morning or 4:00 in the afternoon unless I tell them otherwise.  So far I've gotten some doors, window sills and floors washed.  I had some help on a short cleaning project I was tackling and the bookshelf upstairs is on its way to having the books look like they belong on it again.  This morning Clark and Felicity were in the backyard at 7:30 picking yellow flowers for me.  They are so sweet.  Quinn has been up since sometime after 5 am and he even convinced me to give him some breakfast at 6:30.  He'll be ready for a nap soon.

My Life is Full - Part 3

In part one I share how my younger children fill my life.  In part two I shared how my older children fill my life.  This time I'm going to share the other things in my life that make my life full.

Jeff - My spouse fills my life with support for me and our family.  He's there when I need him whether in person or by phone.  He is a great help around the house.  He builds things for our home and play.  He watches the kids so I can take a walk some evenings after dinner.  He's strong.  He wants to be a good leader in our family.  He eats ice cream with me.  We sit together on the couch to watch TV.  He plays board or card games with me occasionally, even though he doesn't prefer to play games.  He helps the kids with their math if they are struggling with a concept.  He gives me a day or several hours a month to work on projects or do something that I would like to do by myself.  He does so much to fill my life that I can't write everything here or even think of everything at the same time.


My life is also full of the things I do for my home and family.  I shop, cook, and plan meals and snacks.  I make sure that the mountains of clean laundry get folded, eventually.  I like folding laundry.  I delegate chores to the kids that they can help with in the laundry room, bathrooms, kitchen or just around the house.  Then I try to do the things they couldn't do.  I try to keep decluttering things that I find we don't use, so that they aren't in the way.  I try to encourage the kids to play outside and I go out with them to keep an eye on the little ones.  I teach our homeschool and try to make sure that I am ready to start school on Mondays because my preparation seems to help everything go fairly smoothly.  I'm hoping to get my garden planted soon and then there will also be garden maintenance and harvesting when the time comes.


My full life helps me stay content in my home doing the things I'm supposed to do.  It's plenty of fun, has plenty of craziness, and yes, can even have days of struggling to make it to bed at the end of the day without going crazy myself.  I thank God for giving me this full life and as long as I remember to keep everything in perspective I'm happy with it.

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My Life is Full - Part 2

In part one I talked about how my three youngest children fill my life.  This time I'm going to share how the older three children also fill my life full.  They don't do all the fun little things that my littlest ones do, but there are plenty of fulfilling times that they add to my life in their own ways.

Kaomi - My quiet six year old keeps me guessing.  I often don't know what she is thinking.  She tends to be quiet and often doesn't speak up when she needs something.  She enjoys reading, which she used to struggle with.  She dislikes copywork so much that she will just sit and do it very slowly.  She likes to sit next to me when I am reading and she likes to have her back rubbed.  She likes to play dollhouse and set up scenes for me to look at.  She also likes to play pretend and help in the kitchen.  She likes babies, too.  She likes to try to get out of doing her chores by doing them very slowly or not doing them and hoping we don't notice.  She likes horses and got a chance to ride one a couple weeks ago and hopes she will get to do it again soon.

Katy - My competitive eight year old thinks like I do.  I understand her and can tell what she is thinking sometimes.  She likes help make lunch on the weekends.  She often fixes something for everyone to eat if she is given the chance.  Her independent streak shows when she wants to know how to do something, but as soon as she is shown she wants to do it by herself.  She enjoys embroidering and wants to learn how to sew.  She loves to help with Quinn and carry him around.  She likes horses and likes to read books about horses and really enjoyed getting to ride one a couple weeks ago with Kaomi and is looking forward to riding again.

Kent - My reluctant nine (almost ten) year old is beginning to show interest in doing things that show he is maturing.  He likes to help Jeff grill.  He thrives with structure for his day.  He struggles with change, but we work together to try and help him accept and adjust to it.  He tells every little detail about something he wants to talk about.  He likes to throw his football.  He enjoys visiting with our elderly neighbor.  I enjoy looking at his Lego designs from vehicles to sets for an action scene.  His ability to do a good job on his chores is improving and when he wants to do a good job there is little for me to have him finish.  He likes to go to CSB each week and is disappointed if something prevents him from getting to attend.  Kent also reads a lot.  Recently, he finished reading The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings series by J.R. Tolkien.

Next time I'll finish up with other things that fill my life in Part 3.

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My Life is Full - Part 1

My life is full of enjoying my children.  I thought I would share some of the ways my youngest children constantly fill my life.

Quinn -  My sweet one year old fills my life with giggles.  He likes to be tickled and to tickle others.  He still nurses several times a day and once or twice at night.  With nursing comes extra snuggles and holding a sleeping baby who is sometimes just too cute to put down right away.  He is learning that it is fun to play with cars, especially with Clark.  He also gives lots of hugs to anyone who is close enough to receive them.  He isn't walking independently yet, but I think as soon as he realizes how much fun it is he will run as fast as he can to wherever he wants to go.

Clark - My very busy two year old fills my life with cute actions and sayings.  He loves to help me in the kitchen.  Lately, he's been helping me make lunch and he's been rushing in to set the table for dinner, even though it is Felicity's job.  He loves playing with cars, trucks, and airplanes.  He likes to build garages for his fire truck and police cars with Duplo Legos.  He snuggles with me when he has just woken up and sits in my lap during the older kids storytime.  Occasionally, he'll fall asleep while I'm reading.  He seldom takes a nap and his afternoon quiet time is full of play.  I just encourage him to stay in his room and stay relatively quiet.  He enjoys preschool time.  He really enjoys playing outside and I have to watch him closely if we are in the front yard as he has quickly disappeared before we realize he had even moved.  He loves to ride the blue tricycle.  He runs his feet up and down the sidewalk as fast as he can and doesn't often use the pedals which are still a little hard to reach.  He is learning to put words into coherrent sentences, but likes to make up his own words and pretend he is saying something.  He loves to "play" football, just like his big brother, Kent.

Felicity - My gentle 4 year old enjoys life to the fullest.  She spends time playing pretend with her dolls, animals and other toys.  She has fun building puzzles and her excitement is catching as she shows me how she finished the puzzle she was working on.  She loves to play with Clark and they are so much fun to watch when they are playing together.  She enjoys making crafts and coloring, often giving her beautiful masterpieces to me to hang on the wall.  We also enjoy having a snuggle with a story.  When she eats something that she really likes she has a special look on her face and sucks her bottom lip in enjoyment.  She's done this since she was a baby and it is still precious.  She also likes to play outside and rides her red tricycle up and down the sidewalk.

As you can see there is so much to take in just with these children, that I will follow up with My Life is Full - Part 2 about my older three children.

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What's been going on? -Jan/Feb. 2014

These are some of the highlights of our school from the last month.

Candy Bar Math for Kaomi:

Quinn Sporting an outfit from Auntie Cat and practicing his standing skills:

Working 100 piece puzzles:

An outing in the snow:

Adventures with static electricity:

New Pictures for my school art wall:

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Highlights from Last Year -2013

The top viewed posts from 2013:

1.  The series about Toddler & Preschool Box Ideas
2.  Thoughts I had about Motherhood
3.  38 Weeks
4.  I took a day and sewed November Skirts
5.  Quinn's Birth Story



A Quick Look back from the year:

1.  I wrote about my childhood memories from Maple Syrup Season.
2.  I wrote about Clark in Don't Blink
3.  I interviewed my children and added to my Knowing My Children category
4.  During the ice storm I wrote about Peace in the Storm
5.  We spent much of December working on Handmade Christmas

A True Stay-cation

We've been iced over in our area of Texas.  We are thankful to all be together and safe with food, shelter, and electricity.  Highways around us have become temporary parking lots.  The truck that delivers our Bountiful Baskets orders is out there on one of them.  There were no deliveries on the route that we are on today.  Pray for safety and peace for all those who are still stranded.  We get to stay home and enjoy doing things together.  We've worked on Christmas projects, watched movies, played outside, chatted with a neighbor, played games and had close by family visit.  I have no desire to go out onto the treacherous streets to drive and become stranded or worse.  Church has been canceled for tomorrow so we have invited those who are close enough to come and join us in worship at our home.  The weather forecast is predicting that we may have a new layer of thin ice on top of what we already have and they are staying the roads will continue to be unsafe for travelers through Tuesday morning.   I've taken pictures of the children playing outside and am hoping to share them with you soon.

Day 16 in Our Homeschool - Fall 2013

This whole week I've felt like I haven't been on top of school.  Partly, because I didn't make my weekly plans.  When those days happen I try to make sure we are just doing the basics.  This week we've worked on English Grammar, some writing,  a little math, reading, storytime and a little bit of science.  I know when we stay on top of these subjects we can catch up again easily in science and history, when we get back to our regular schedule.  In place of some of our school we've had low key days, Legos, a show from Netflix or two, more play, working on keeping house, sewing, play-doh,  errands, and getting ready for and packing shoe-boxes.  This is the time of year when I want to take a back seat and enjoy the season right before Thanksgiving and leading up to Christmas, but I know that in order to have a month off in December we need to make sure we are still getting enough work done each school day to not get behind.

If You Were a Fly on the Wall Today

I'm up just after 6:30 am packing lunches, having my quiet time with God in the Psalms, checking my e-mail, correcting more of yesterday's school lessons.  Jeff, Ben, and Noah head out for their day.  It is "quiet" time in the house until 7:30.  Kent eats breakfast at 7:10.  7:25 am get Clark and Lissie dressed and started on breakfast.  7:30 - the kids start their before breakfast services and Kent has his time with me for his school assignments for the day.  8:00 - Kent begins his before breakfast services and Kaomi eats breakfast.  8:15 - Katy's time with me for her school assignments.  8:35 - Katy eats breakfast and I put Quinn in the swing.  The kids have free time and I get my breakfast.

At 9:15 the school bell rings everyone meets in the kitchen and we start with the Pledge of Allegiance, Bible time/song, and poetry.  The poem we have been studying is My Shadow by Robert Louis Stevenson, so we headed outside to look at our shadows and we trace around everyone's shadows on the sidewalk with chalk.  We come back inside at 9:43 and everyone tackles their mid-morning chores.  Katy finished quickly and started her individual work at 9:46.  At 9:58 Kaomi began her individual work and Kent started his at 10:00.  I got an activity box out for Lissie and Clark, then fed Quinn and listened to Kent's Independent History Study assignment.  10:25 - I checked on how individual work was going, put Quinn in the pack and play with a few toys, corrected some of the work that was waiting in my basket, and listened to Katy's Independent History Study Assignment.  10:48 - Close windows, pick-up Quinn and give Kaomi a spelling test.  10:58 - Try to get Kent to understand that I can't answer his question without seeing his problem in math.  Kaomi gets a break and Kent brings his math book.  Then I have to try to convince Kent that the question he is asking me is irrelevant to the answer he needs to find.  He doesn't need to convert meters into feet because the answer is supposed to be in meters.  I'm not sure I got though to him and I noticed he never completed that problem in math.  11:02 - I cleaned up the activity so Quinn could play on the floor.  11:08 - Kaomi worked on her reading lesson with me, Clark and Lissie are playing nicely, Quinn is in the kitchen.  I pick him up.  11:15 - I put Quinn back in the pack and play with a "new" toy and did grammar with Kaomi.  11:27 - I check on individual work and reply to a text from Mom.  11:30 - We all went back outside to to check our shadows and to trace them again.  11:45 - The kids work on their lunchtime duties, have free time, the girls help with Quinn while I make lunch, lunch time/recess, I feed Quinn, check e-mail and put Quinn in his swing again.   The kids go outside to play with the Beach activity box and water.  12:40 - I fix my lunch and enjoy the semi-silence.  I straighten up the kitchen a little and get the mail.

1:00 - Time to clean up the outside activity.  The kids start their afternoon jobs; I change Clark's wet clothes, read him a story and put him to bed.  1:15 - We start school for the afternoon in the living room.  We work on storytimes, History, History Narration, and science reading.  2:05 - We work on our science experiment.  2:25 - Lissie went for quiet time and the older kids filled out their lab forms for science.  2:35  I work on math with Kaomi.  Kent and Katy work on the last of their unfinished work for school and the corrections in the blue basket.  2:55 - I work on correcting the lessons from the day that are in my basket.  3:30 - Time for a break.  Katy and Kaomi have math homework and Kent needs to finish the corrections he was working on in math for homework.  We go outside to look at our shadows and trace them again.  Noah arrives home from school.  3:45 - The neighbor girl knocks on the door.  She needs help with some math homework.  4:00 - Lissie and Clark get up from their nap, so I start making snack.  Clark is fussing, so he gets to go back to bed.  Noah has a question about algebra.  Kaomi works more on her homework.  4:10 - I finish making snack and get Clark up again.  4:15 - I help the neighbor with her homework and hold Clark.  4:30 - Noah and Kent head outside to mow the yard.

5:00 - We stop working on homework and go outside.  Quinn is awake so I take him out with us.  5:20 - I send the neighbor girl home, feed Quinn, and most of the kids play in the backyard.  5:35 - Quinn went back into his pack and play while I tried to figure out alternative dinner plans, since I spent my dinner prep. hour on homework.  Ben arrived home from work.  I started dinner.   6:00 -Jeff arrived home and the kids worked on their evening obligations.  6:30 - Trace shadows again for the last time.  7:00 - Supper is finally ready.  7:25 - Jeff and the kids help clean up from dinner while I feed Quinn.  7:55 - I started getting Clark and Lissie ready for bed.  All the kids said goodnight and went to bed.  I prep lunches for tomorrow and Jeff kept Quinn from fussing.  8:35 pm - I sat down to feed Quinn again.  Jeff was finishing cleaning up in the kitchen and I started writing this post.  Ben took Quinn for a little while since he wasn't looking sleepy yet.

This is a fairly typical day for a Tuesday, Thursday or Friday in our home.

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Back-Burner Blogging

I'd like to have the time to continue blogging, but for now it seems like it won't be very often.  I'm busy from the time I get up to the time I go to bed with little break.  I'm exhausted.  My kids want me to do stuff with them and I can't find the time between keeping up with the three littlest, school, just staying on top of the daily home upkeep, and meals.  I feel like they are constantly getting pushed to the side.  I need to go to bed earlier and I need to get everything done to be ready for the next day, too.  I rarely get both done in one day, but sometimes I get one accomplished.

Impromptu Break

Apparently I'm taking an impromptu break from blogging.  It's been a busy week.  I'll be back soon and return to the Toddler and Preschool Box Series on Tuesdays.

Hospitality

Hospitality is something I struggle with.  Don't get me wrong, I love having people over, but the heart attitude of hospitality is what I struggle with sometimes.  I usually don't struggle with hospitality when I have planned to have guests over or even have unexpected guests that we know well.  It is often the "unexpected" guests who I don't know well that I struggle knowing how to be hospitable with.

Here is a "picture" of one of the most hospitable people I have known.  She was my neighbor when I was growing up.  Nona was the grandma of the home, she loved kids, and she had immigrated from Italy in the early 1900's.

When I went to their home and knocked on the door I was always greeted with "Come in, come in".  She didn't talk to me in the doorway or have me wait outside while she called her granddaughter to come and see who had come to visit.  She was always offering me a drink or something to eat.  If she was cooking she always wanted me to try a bite of it.  If I was there close to meal time she always invited me to join them for dinner.  She loved me as if I were her own.  She always told me I could "stay longer" when it was time for me to leave.  I don't think she ever had a cross thought about "that neighbor girl" coming over again.  She always made some kind of baked good for my family at a holiday, too.


I had a wise mother who didn't let me visit too often and wear out my welcome.  She also usually told me what time I needed to be home and it was always a reasonable time, before they would be serving dinner. (Thanks Mom.)


Here's what it looks like at my home.  When someone knocks on the door, I don't think to promptly invite them in.  I am often slow to answering the door as it seems they like to come visit while I am nursing.  So they ring the doorbell multiple times or knock several times before I can get there.  I don't like to have my kids answer the door every time, because they don't seem to know what to do when they answer the door even though I have tried to tell them and show them.  When I answer the door, we may stand in the doorway and visit before I invite them in or I may say it isn't a good time and turn them away politely after greeting them.  I rarely think to offer anyone a drink, they either suffer through their thirst, ask for a drink, or get their own.  If I am serving a snack to my kids I ask if they would like one too, but if it is close to dinner I often wait to work on it, because I don't want to be rude by telling them it is time for them to leave.  I am often eager for any guests to leave so we can get on to straightening up for Daddy before he comes home from work or so I can get dinner ready.  Sometimes when we have guest(s) I feel like I have to constantly be watching what is going on between them and my children, which is good, but it is something I struggle to do with a good attitude.  I seldom ask anyone to stay for dinner, but often wonder if I should be asking them.  If I should ask them I think we would have guests for dinner several times a week.  At the end of the day I am tired and not at my prime.  I'd like to see and talk with my husband when he gets home and that's sometimes hard to do with our children who love him and want his undivided attention right away.  When we have guest(s) it is even less likely.  I often have to ask our guest(s) to leave whether its in the morning, afternoon, or evening.  Sometimes I struggle to know whether I am being selfish with my family and time or if I am giving and have already given enough.  Sometimes having guest(s) makes me weary and mentally worn as well.  I want to be available to the children who may wish to visit.  I want to be able to show a Christ-like attitude to them, but I don't really have a clue, how.  I feel so rude when I have to tell them it is time for them to leave.

Hospitality is something I'm working on, but if anyone has any tips for hospitality or remembering how to be hospitable when someone unexpected arrives I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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Hi!

I've been pretty quiet around my blog lately.  We had an irrigation system installed.  My parents (Pa and Mimi) came to visit in April.  Kent and Jeff have had birthdays.  The kids have been playing outside more.  I've been spending much of my computer time getting some stuff ready for next year's school.  Quinn is growing and Clark is busy like normal.  I finally downloaded the pictures on my camera from the last month, so now all the blog posts in my head to go with some of the pictures can be written or forgotten.  Clark got hand, foot and mouth disease and shared it with Felicity and Kaomi.  I think the older kids were spared the disease, unless they show signs of it in the next day or two.  Hopefully, you'll get to see some of the activities we've done over the past month.