Kent's Camping Trip English Paper

First Draft:

                                                              My Camp out

Fri:  We rode with Carlos and his dad to the Camp out.  When we got there we set up our tents and then we played with the other boys that were there.  Then the air horn blew for supper, so we had go get our soup.
Fri.ni.  I read my Bible and Dangerous Book for Boy’s for ten minutes.  Then I slept
sat. morn.  We woke up and got for the day.  I drank some hot chocolate before Breakfast.  Then the air horn blew for breakfast, so we had our pankakes.  After breakfast we played capture the flag in the ravine.  After that we shot Guns.  I shot a Bolt action, single-shot rifle.  I have a bullet shell as a souvenire for shooting The gun.  after that I went to the waterfalls and built a dam.
    sat. noon. the air horn blew for hot dogs so we had our hot dogs
    sat.afteRn. we went to the waterfalls to work on the dam some more.  Then we came back to camp  Then to the ravine to play captud the feag.
Sat. eveni.  The air horn blew for our Briscket Joe’s.  Then we went to play in the sandpit for a while until the bonfire, and roasted marshmallows.  Then we played wolf.
    Sun. Morn.  We had beeakfast tacos around the leftovers of our bonfire.  Then we played a round of Capture the flag before the Bible time we had a Bible story.  Then we went to see the water falls, when we came back it was time to go home

Following Discussion with Mommy and editing by Kent and a 2nd draft, which was edited by Kent the first draft became the...


Final Draft:


                                                                 Our Camp Out

    On Friday we rode with Carlos and his dad to the camp out.  When we got there we set up our two tents and then we played with the other boys that were there.  Then the air horn blew for supper, so we had to go get our soup.
    Friday night I read my Bible and Dangerous Book for Boy’s for ten minutes.  Then I slept.
    Saturday morning, We woke up and got ready for the day.  I drank some hot chocolate before breakfast.  Then the air horn blew for breakfast, so we had our pancakes.  After breakfast we played capture the flag in the ravine.  After that we shot guns.  I shot a bolt action, single-shot rifle.  I have a bullet shell as a souvenir for shooting the gun.  After that we went to the waterfalls and built a dam.
    Saturday noon, the air horn blew for hot dogs, so we had our hot dogs.  Saturday afternoon, we went to the waterfalls to work on the dam some more.  Then we came back to camp  Then we went to the ravine to play capture the flag.
    Saturday evening, the air horn blew for our Brisket Joe’s.  Then we went to play in the sandpit for a while until the bonfire.  We had the bonfire and roasted marshmallows.  Then we played Wolf.
    Sunday morning, we had breakfast tacos around what was left of our bonfire.  Then we played a round of Capture the flag before Bible time; we had a Bible story.  Then we went to see the waterfalls.  When we came back it was time to go home.

by Kent Sears
Grade 3, age 9
April 29, 2013


Grading to the techniques and grammar learned this year Kent received a 94%  on this paper.